Vacation “Days of Awe”
For weeks, my monkey mind obsessed over where to go on vacation.
I swung from tree to tree, idea to idea, and nothing felt awesome. Beach pictures all looked the same. Cities signaled stress. And my original idea—to drive with the dog in the camper to see friends in New York—felt like way too much work. Staying home almost seemed like a viable option, but that’s just not my style.
The curse of too many options. Covid cases on the rise. Unpredictable weather. Anxiety about leaving the cocoon. But I’ve traveled a lot, during and since the lockdown. So what was my problem?
In retrospect, it’s obvious! My monkey mind was too busy with the who, the when, the where, and the how. And I didn’t yet know my why.
So, whether committing to a whole vacation or just planning where to have dinner, we should take that old rule from journalism school—every story needs a who, what, when, where, and why—and turn it on its head.
We should always start with why. And, if you have a significant other or a family—or, if (like me) you have a new Pal with a capital P—compromise might be needed. You can’t ignore the who!
Start with your why. Do we need stimulation, or to slow things down? Are we craving comfort food, or something spicy? Self-service, or to be waited on? Simon Sinek tells leaders to find their why so they can inspire teams and sell more stuff, but I prefer the Buddha’s approach. He says, if we sit still enough, for long enough, we will know ourselves. Everything will become clear. The right path will be revealed. The path is the way. The way is the why.
Is there a who? Do we want to dine alone? Sit with other people at a communal table? Order take-out? Or have our food delivered? I usually choose to travel solo because it’s peaceful, and I don’t have to coordinate dates and budgets and activities once we’re on the ground. And it’s empowering! But two recent experiences—a trip to visit a girlfriend who was living in Belize, and an impromptu plus-one adventure to Italy—showed me that having a Gal or a Pal with skills (they happened to be a diver and a cyclist) could bring out my brave in unexpected ways.
Only then can we consider the what, the where, and the when. Our next meal won’t be our last supper. Nor will our next vacation be the only place we ever go. This time—or next time—we can fly, or we can drive. We may go solo, or with family or with friends. We can choose the spendy option, or keep things cheap. Most importantly, our many options will begin to look awesome again!
Once I silenced my monkey mind, I was able to feel my why. I needed a DIY vacation that included bursts of energy, and also some time to do nothing at all.
I needed to slow down my brain but not withdraw entirely. To restore and feel gratitude again. To nest in my camper and my home with the dog. To spend some quiet time—and some sporty time—with my Pal. To write, and to do a bit of work.
My perfect, mostly solo Colorado “staycation” didn’t mean going nowhere. It meant staying present and pleased with my choices. It meant noticing the beautiful synchronicity, that my vacation days coincided with the precious the Days of Awe between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
Travel is not a zero sum game. And our needs are always changing.
Once we know our why, we can find awe wherever we go.
We won’t ever look back.
