The time is right

NOTE: A shorter version of this post (with a different photo) appeared first—on January 25—as a guest blog on Chip Conley’s Wisdom Well. I am backdating the post here for continuity in my own story of healing.

Last summer, I celebrated turning 60 by taking an epic road trip.

I dubbed it my #Tourde60, but unlike the cyclists in France, I had a dog with me. And just two of my stages were planned.

It would take five days to get to Maine for the Fourth of July, where I’d have lobster and see fireworks. And eight days later, there was a beach cottage on Block Island reserved for my birthday.

Otherwise, I would map my route as I went along.

By the end, I had driven 7,000 miles over six weeks. I camped or stayed with friends. I ate simply, swam daily, and suspended my need to know what lay ahead.

On day one of my trip, I heard Tim Ferriss’s podcast with Chip Conley. Immediately, I downloaded the audio for Wisdom @ Work, the Making of a Modern Elder.

Somewhere in Indiana, I pulled the car over. I applied to attend the Modern Elder Academy, Conley’s new midlife wisdom school.

I was accepted and booked for December 8–15, but just three weeks before my departure, I suffered an accident that meant I couldn’t travel. The pain and dependence on others made me more vulnerable than I’d ever been in my life.

While recovering from a concussion and several fractures to my ribs and spine, I followed my cohort on Facebook. They frolicked in the surf and saw sea turtles that only rarely came ashore. They danced in the kitchen and cuddled a chihuahua. They met Chip!

But what hurt the most is that they bonded without me. I felt envious and broken and left out.

But then I remembered a few of the Stoic principles I’d been practicing since leaving full-time employment and starting my own business, two years before. Things Chip talked about in his book.

So much is out of our control. We can’t control the driver who hits us, or the boss who manages us out. But we can control how we react. We can refuse to get stuck in cycle of blame or self-pity, and instead cultivate joy and appreciation for what we have.

Setbacks are opportunities. When we are forced to slow down and regroup, we realize what’s essential. With the calendar empty instead of full, we can decide what is worth adding, and toward what end. We might even make stillness a permanent part of life.

Whenever we get there, the time will be right. Fear of missing out is a powerful thing. But once we put that aside, we can appreciate that we all are on the right path: the one that Nature has laid out for us.  

Indeed, all is well. My bones are healing, and I’m thinking clearly again. I’m leaving for MEA in a week.

I now know: That will be exactly the right time.